Thursday, March 7, 2013

The school issues we were having earlier this week were resolved by extending his month long break by a couple of extra days. He was supposed to be off for a month as of today at noon but instead I chose to keep him home on Wednesday and for the few hours that he would've been there today.   I hated having to do that but after thinking about it for a long time the other night I decided it would be the best way to go.

I resisted doing that because it felt like I was giving him exactly what he wanted - to be home and away from the confines and demands of school.  I was honestly just worried that there would be a repeat of his behavior earlier in the week.  He knew his behavior was enough to warrant an early pick up from me and I thought that he'd do the same to get out of there if he went back so soon after that.. His teacher e-mailed me thanking me for making that decision and saying that she had the same feelings about what might have happened if he came back for the remaining two days before they tracked off.

Her support meant a lot to me because I had been second guessing that decision all the way up until his bus came for him Wednesday morning and I went out to tell the driver that he was staying home.  I worried about what kind of message I was sending to him.  He is a super smart kid and remembers what works with people, especially with me.  He has a memory like an elephant and seems to file things away for future use.

A big part of my reasoning in extending his break was that I was hoping that he'd have a good amount of time as a buffer zone between his awful behavior and being sent home and when it's time to go back to school the week after Easter.  I'm not expecting him to forget what worked but hoping that that much time away and his love of routine will compel him to behave better when he does go back.  His teacher agreed with me on that as well.  In terms of bad behavior things tend to get worse before they get better with him and after how bad it was this week at school I didn't want to take any chances and risk having it get even worse.

On a purely selfish note I was sad to not have much time to myself this week before his break began. I am grateful for any and all downtime and had been looking forward to savoring the little I was going to get this week. But if I had sent him back just so I could have that much needed break what kind of mom would that have made me?  A pretty selfish beotch of one in my eyes, that's for sure.   Needing some me time doesn't make me selfish but doing it at the expense of others does.  I'm not big on judging other parents.  I generally have a way of thinking that believes that people have to do whatever works for them and since I am not in their situation who the hell am I to sit in judgment.  But this is different entirely.  This scenario is mine and I would've mentally kicked my own ass for putting my needs above others.  Totally not worth it.

Did I make the right decision?  I hope so.  If anyone would like to comment and tell me what they would've done or lend me some perspective I'd love to hear.  I'll make sure I am wearing my big girl panties too.

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